afraid
by we are eternal
Summary: ( Written for 1sentence @ livejournal ) Will built forts because he was afraid, not of getting close, but of losing himself. Will/Hannibal :: Excerpt - He needed control; to hold the gun steady, to kill with one shot, to feel his body under his.


#01 - Ring

They weren't the type of men who would ever be married.

#02 - Hero

Will didn't feel like a hero saving her life, he felt like string, wrapping around her and digging into her flesh, tying her to a world she no longer felt a part of.

#03 - Memory

"It's the looking back that kills you."

#04 - Box

An empty wooden box sat between books on philosophy and the vinyl, it was meant to keep his secrets—long strands of brown hair and recipes—but he whispered them all to Abigail in her sleep.

#05 - Run

Will thought about packing up and never coming back—he had done it before, lived in a house by the water until the voices started asking him to come back and every time he saw their faces; covered in plastic, beaten and bloody, or untouched and silent like innocent children sleeping—he knew he hadn't left anything, but people that acted like they cared about him, behind.

#06 - Hurricane

There were wild animals in the hallway and phantoms in his skin.

#07 - Wings

When he was a boy Hannibal loved to watch the arrival of morning; he listened to the birds call to each other, he felt the leaves crack under his bare feet, but he came to the crag of the mountain that looked over eyes and eyes of forest and couldn't go any further for he couldn't fly.

#08 - Cold

There was snow in his hair and the sting of winter in his eyes.

#09 - Red

It was raining, his hand drifted out from under his umbrella and he felt it—thick, warm—it had turned to blood in awe of him and pelted his pale trembling skin; it knew him, it remembered him, and it wouldn't let him go.

#10 - Drink

"You shouldn't drink on an empty stomach."

#11 - Midnight

The clock ticked into the morning and the mirror reflected the bags under his eyes.

#12 - Temptation

They were both sinners, but with no God to judge them, they prowled after each other and sat idly when left alone, howling deep inside.

#13 - View

They weren't getting farther away from who they were; they were growing the skin of who they were meant to be.

#14 - Music

Classical music was playing and the room was lit by candles, the smell of food cooking—lamb with Tuscan potatoes and asparagus—turned his stomach.

#15 - Silk

He tried to never meet his eyes, but that didn't mean he didn't watch him—didn't _know_ him: he was gentle, elegant, his hair was neat, his nails were clean, his shirts looked expensive, and his eyes were quiet like storm that never came.

#16 - Cover

Hannibal stood too close to Will, leaned into him too often, placed his hand next to his so they almost touched—he wasn't his paddle, he wasn't even the boat, he was the ocean.

#17 - Promise

They left everything too broken to be fixed.

#18 - Dream

He was the monster under the bed; he was the crack of light under the door.

#19 - Candle

The flames didn't reflect anything he didn't already know.

#20 - Talent

The psychiatrist had a way of tearing him apart and putting him back together, a little closer to his image.

#21 - Silence

He didn't see her throat being cut, didn't hear her crying—he felt his lungs being filled with water and the need to gasp for air, but he wanted to stay at the bottom of the river.

#22 - Journey

All his dreams led to the same place.

#23 - Fire

He was burning, but he wasn't reborn.

#24 - Strength

He needed control; to hold the gun steady, to kill with one shot, to feel his body under his.

#25 - Mask

Will didn't want to smile anymore.

#26 - Ice

There was something swimming in his blood, there was something ticking in his brain—it made people think he was insane, maybe he was.

#27 - Fall

It took him awhile to fall asleep; he kept waiting for a hand on his throat, but it never came.

#28 - Forgotten

Will had never learned to be silent, a sigh brushed past his lips, and Hannibal had forgotten how to be still, the corners of his lips twitching into a little smile.

#29 - Dance

He was the killer and the victim, the gun and the blood that flecked his glasses—it was an art that held his head under water.

#30 - Body

He met his eyes, they were unrelenting, and guided his hand from his knee to his thigh.

#31 - Sacred

Will spent his childhood in and out of hospitals; there was a bible in the drawer, he recited passages in his head and stared at the cross on the wall until his eyes went bleary, but he didn't believe in God.

#32 - Farewells

He almost looked sad.

#33 - World

Killing was all Will thought about, and **him.**

#34 - Formal

It was another party, one holiday bled into the other.

#35 - Fever

He took painkillers for pain that wasn't in his body.

#36 - Laugh

They were all smiling; he must have missed the joke.

#37 - Lies

The sun came up and he was obliterated.

#38 - Forever

It wasn't darkness, it wasn't fear, it wasn't lust it was the hush, the stillness, the nothing that he found in his arms—a safe place to fall asleep.

#39 - Overwhelmed

He took a breath, he took half a million.

#40 - Whisper

Like a devil on his shoulder he had his ear, between his teeth, and his blood under his claws.

#41 - Wait

Hannibal abided his time; let people trust him, depend on him, even _love _him.

#42 - Talk

Words between them were scattered—pleasant when they needed to be, hurtful when they wanted to be.

#43 - Search

Will wasn't looking for what was lost, he was being buried by what was never there.

#44 - Hope

He didn't see Hell; he woke up—a little too early most mornings.

#45 - Eclipse

His mouth was on his, biting his lower lip, dragging his teeth down his chin and his throat and his hands were in his hair pulling his head back.

#46 - Gravity

The lampshade was crooked and there was broken glass and spilled wine on the carpet.

#47 - Highway

Will was tired of the car crash—of looking at it, of analyzing it—he laid in bed and felt himself being cut open, a casualty, but sleep painted him as a killer.

#48 - Unknown

They weren't friends, but they were far from nothing.

#49 - Lock

Their lives were intertwined.

#50 – Breathe

The wolf treaded contently in the footsteps of the stag.


End file.
